MY WELLBEING PYRAMID

by F Richard Singer III         edition date 11/07/07

website: www.conceptualstudy.org      email: richardsinger3@sbcglobal.net

My Wellbeing Pyramid: This paper is part of the longer paper entitled My Third Collapse of Will. One result of that collapse was a new heuristic way to visualize the state of my wellbeing as a triangular pyramid.

Vertex A: I picture my spiritual power as the apex A of a pyramid with a triangular base. This point lies within the will that is the core of what I am. The base vertices of this pyramid are part of my person characteristics and my relationship to world beyond me. There is a biological vertex B, a cultural vertex C, a direct relationship vertex D. If apex A had enough power, it could energize all these other vertices regardless of external factors. This is not the case currently. Perhaps it never can be. My will needs to build power in concert with power being developed in the other vertices.

Vertex B: My personal observations suggest that most animal activity seems to focus on food and reproduction. This is reinforced by reading a book like The Selfish Gene and by TV nature programs. The main exception is the play and learning activities observed in some mammals, but even this can be easily accounted for as preparation for survival. My thoughts about this biological vertex primarily involve some reflections on the hedonic biological aspects of existence. A multitude of minor negatives include occasional bouts with a sore throat or with gum problems, chiggers and horseflies with which to contend, the mildly unpleasant sensation in the finger I sliced open several years ago, etc.

Since my accident, the pleasurable biological aspects have diminished significantly and the unpleasant ones increased. The exception is that I take more pleasure in muscular activity (now available because of having my country home Barbin Hollow) than I would have ever imagined. Contrasted to this is an extended list of states that have sapped power from this vertex. Most are probably a result of some combination of my accident and aging. My physical activity and my ability to walk for exercise were inhibited first by several years of hip pain and later by an injury to my Achilles tendon. However, during that time I found ways to continue muscular activity in ways that were still satisfying. While not currently a problem, the possibility of similar limitations cast some gloom about the future. The only noteworthy negative muscular phenomenon that I now encounter is that each morning it takes a while to become flexible and that by evening I often have some muscular discomfort.

One of my main aggravations was the physiological tension that emerged after my accident. For 4 years, I could not escape this tension and I felt that I could not live the rest of my life with it. I still had this tension each morning until about 6 years ago However while somewhat debilitating it did not produce anxiety. It became easy to manage because I knew I could choose to act productively in spite of it. I also know resources that when available will make the tension disappear.

I can still enjoy tactile pleasure (the sun on my face, the feel of the creek water running over me). I also enjoy having my feet rubbed, a body massage, etc. However, the most intense form of tactile pleasure is no longer available to me. After being diagnosed with diabetes, my ability to function sexually waned and disappeared. This may have been due to the medication that psychiatrists had given me or to some other factor. Whatever the reason this lack has even diminished some of the pleasure involved in other forms of touching and being touched, especially with anyone who might arouse my sexual feelings. ¶The effects of diabetes are my worst biological aggravation. Most of my life I merely cultivated reasonable tastes in food and drink, along with some general health guidelines. I stayed active, never smoked, never used alcohol, never drank coffee, avoided desserts except on special occasions, etc. Now food intake has become a concern in ways that interfere with just eating. Having to think about the details (how many carbohydrates in a glass of milk or in a banana) has considerably diminished my pleasure in eating and drinking. I do not want to have to think about whether I should I eat a peanut butter and honey sandwiches, have some fruit juices, etc.

Due to diabetes, there is the minor discomfort of blood sugar testing and insulin shots a day. There is the strange feeling in my feet. While I have considerable stamina, my capacity for sustained rapid use of energy has been considerably diminished. Not long ago I climbed a tree in order to retrieve a rope on a branch that was about 20 feet high. The trunk was too large to scale so I use a branch that was hanging down and begin climbing it like a rope. In the past, I would have held on from beneath and climbed without resting until I had almost reached the rope. This time I soon felt a weakness in my muscles and had to change to the more awkward tactic of climbing from the top side of the branch. I also had to rest about every 6 feet.

Vertex C: This vertex involves the impact that my culture has on me and the impact that I have on my culture. The impact that the traditions and institutions of my culture have had on me has been mixed, but overall I am grateful for my cultural heritage. The most negative aspect was the impact of cosmic versions on my own spiritual quest, and in particular, the impact of calvinism and physicalism that culminated in my second collapse of will. However, out of this collapse there emerged radical insights into my own net for crucial concepts. My greatest disappointment is that my culture has not provided allies in my deepest quest. My educational allies have never fully embraced my educational ideals and they have never felt the passion I have towards the purpose of creating alternatives to formal education. I discuss these ideals in My Net for Understanding Education. Likewise, I have no allies in working towards my community family ideal or in creating other alternative social institutions. Of course, as a radical explorer, I do not expect direct support from my culture in creative endeavors that challenge the conservative nature of social institutions. Perhaps I should be thankful that I live at a time that ignores rather than punishes me for my explorations. Perhaps not.

As to my impact on my culture, I have felt it locally. I know that because of my radical origin quest I have had a more positive impact on many people than I otherwise could have had. I have touched people in ways that has encouraged them to think and act more imaginatively. This has sown some seeds for the kind of comprehensive paradigm shift that I would like to see emerge and which I would like to help bring about. Have I been more than just locally effective? There is no way to tell, for even a clear indication that my ideal of a paradigm shift is emerging is not likely to occur anywhere in the foreseeable future. However since the core of my cultural ideal involves a radical shift towards the importance of personal institutions and away from the importance of hierarchical and impersonal ones, it is appropriate that the major task on which I should focus are highly personal ones.

Should I be more than locally effective? From an evolutionary perspective, the answer is probably not. I believe that a culture cannot be strong unless it is highly conservative, that its strength resides in traditions and institutions whose workings are so complex that conceptual analysis seldom provides any workable alternative. Social reformers seldom see that the mechanisms they think have evil consequences may be linked in a complex manner to others supportive of values essential to the existence of the society. Of course, there may be better ways to enhance social purposes than those which tradition has evolved. However most of the time deliberate change based on reasoning and idealistic projections probably will not produce the results intended. Fortunately, most attempted modifications produce almost no results. When they do so in a revolutionary manner, this is more likely to lead to social confusion than to utopia. A strong culture is like a massive gyroscope that is likely to maintain its stability and return close to its normal motion in spite of the shocks it receives. Only a few portions of the ideas of those who are trying to modify a culture in a radical manner are likely flourish.

Major comprehensive paradigm shifts are rare (see CPCP Comprehensive Paradigms). So I should remind myself that my conjecture that comprehensive paradigm shift is in its early stages may be wrong. Even if this conjecture is correct, my ideals for a paradigm shift are not likely to be the ones on its cutting edge. My awareness of this saps power from vertex C. I can partially counter this by focusing on the interaction of individuals as modifiers and the conservative function of culture. No person can expect to be on the cutting edge of any workable radical modification of a culture. However if a culture is to change radically, perhaps some must live as if they might be.

Vertex D: This vertex involves the impact that direct contact with other persons has on me and the impact that I have on them culture. There are some major weaknesses in this vertex. Most people do not have as much time for recreation as they have than for other matters. Nor is it easy to find allies for the types of recreation I enjoy the most. More important is that I have found no allies in my radical origin quest. I have found some interest and encouragement, but no one who shares my passion.

Central to this vertex is an observation about being human. It is a difficult task to be a human. To be human is to be born helpless, to remain highly dependent for years, to be always somewhat dependent. Whatever competence a human may achieve, outrageous fortune can intrude. Furthermore not only is this the condition of human existence, each person is always at least implicitly aware of this vulnerability. To be human is to have a nervous system capable of taking in a vast amount of information. This provides a capacity not only for joy but also for great suffering. The conjecture guiding me is that most relationship problems are rooted in the basic insecurity involved in being human.

The essence of my relationships strategy is to place the wellbeing of every other person on a par with my own wellbeing. This means to favor neither over the other, but given a natural tendency to automatically focus on my own interests, it is often best to place somewhat more emphasis on the wellbeing of others, at least as long as doing so is not pseudo-sacrificial. The best way to keep a balanced strategy is to find ways in which my wellbeing and that of others are mutually supportive. The tactics relating to my strategy depend on the type of relationship involved.

One way I think of direct personal relationships is in terms of classes such as enemies, friends, strangers, acquaintances, family, allies, etc. These classes are not intended as disjoint. In particular, all members of my family are either friends or acquaintances, as have been all my allies. The main parameter I use to think about such relationships is significance. A relationship is significant to me to the extent that it has an impact on my most basic values. A particular relationship can have such an impact for various reasons.

Allies are those who work together to implement a common purpose. Charmayne and I have always been warm and loving allies in relation to many common purposes such as raising our children, shaping our ideals, working on social service projects, getting exercise, sharing ideas, etc. Family and friends have been allies in the shared purpose of finding and engaging in recreational activities. I have had a number of educational alliances with colleagues and students. Judged from most perspectives, these were highly effective. However, I have never found an ally for whom the creation of radical educational alternatives has had the priority that is has for me.

¶Family and friends provide the main positive power for D. They enrich my life because we do so many things together. They allow me to give warmth, affection, love, and various forms of support. From them I have always felt love, respect, acceptance, emotional support. A significant number of them have let me know that I have had a major influence on their lives. Many of the ideals that I hold for relationships involving family and friends are continually being realized at a level I find extremely satisfying. However my most important ideal of family and friendship is not shared. This is my family community ideal. This ideal is somewhat vague because I do not have experience in putting it into practice. Its essence involves thinking of all close friends as family and living in close proximity with some portion of them. It also involves a fuller sharing, much as is now practiced in a nuclear family.

The set of my recognized enemies is and has usually been the empty class. The significance of this is my deliberate decision to keep it this way. This decision is not hard to maintain. Conflict with others is not relevant to my life. I cannot imagine any possible gain I could achieve thru conflict. Moreover, except for the possibility of physical violence, no attack on me can be very effective. I simply have no fears about other person’s attitudes toward me. Most significant, I have never experienced any instance of a transcendent act that is an attack on me. I think that the extent to which persons have live options is highly overrated. Acts that others often interpret as freely chosen I often judge as being reactive. This applies even to deliberate attacks that persons make on others, since I have yet to know of such an act that did not to seem to be rooted largely in some type of insecurity.

Strangers include persons that I have encountered occasionally or not at all. Relationships with both strangers and acquaintances play only a minor role in my life. Still the composite of such relationships has some significance. The pleasant contact in casual relationships and the knowledge that I am easily liked add a mild positive power to D. My direct relationship strategy is simple. Just regard strangers as persons, be considerate, have minimal expectations. I see a person stuck in the snow. I offer to help. A man comes to check on the efficiency of our furnace.. He doesn’t seem to know his job very well. I am not judgmental and accept this as merely inconvenient. I write to a commentator with a suggestion about his television program. I expect only a polite reply, and probably no action. Some years ago, we had a secretary that our department shared with several other departments. I saw her often, but only in this context. She was somewhat slow and not always very accurate. Other faculty made negative remarks about this. I merely got work to her early enough so there was no rush. She appreciated the fact that I was patient and considerate.

Vertex Interactions: A powerful vertex A would clearly add power to itself and to all the other vertices of my wellbeing pyramid. However part of the power of A is in shaping the other vertices in an interaction of my will the world beyond me. Thus, part of the state of these other vertices is due to factors in that world, and the power they can supply to A depends on factors over which I have no control. The most I can do is to act in certain ways to understand and influence their impact on these vertices. To be an effective radical origin, my origin activity itself should be capable of supplying the power to sustain the wellbeing of A. This is still not the case. I need power to flow from these other vertices to A. The partially pathological state of these other vertices saps my spiritual wellbeing and thus my will to act. I wish this were not so. I wish my will could become sufficient to overcome the negatives from these other vertices.

¶A and D: I suspect that for most humans it is the state of their direct relations that have the greatest influence on their spiritual wellbeing. I know that for me, my wellbeing in D has the most impact on A.

That I have no enemies is an aspect of D that is supportive of A. The ability to transcend fear is one factor that gives power to the spiritual component of being a person. The direct relationship between strangers and friends and family also supports A. All these the positive aspect of D contrasts to my disappointment in not finding spiritual allies, and this contrast saps power from A. In general the interaction between D and A is extremely asymmetric. A empowers D, but for many years D has given almost no power to A. There is a crucial element missing in D. I have no allies who share the more radical aspects of my ideals. Closely related to this is the fact that I have no allies in the pursuit of the purposes rooted in my radical origin ideal. My origin ideal is the integrating ideal for all my other ideals. Of these ideals, it is my educational ideals for which I have expected and had my best allies. However, one of my greatest reasons for feeling isolated is the limited nature of the alliances I was able to find. It is this sense of isolation in vertex D that infiltrates an even deeper sense of isolation into A.

A and C: It appears that along with direct relationship, most humans need to feel that they have a sufficient social status to feel a sense of self worth. By a social status, I mean a place within or in relation to the human community or at least the part of this community with which they identify themselves. In this regard, I think of myself as primarily an explorer and secondarily as a teacher. This is a dual status from which I can draw some internal power. However I explore radical originship and other regions for which I have found no cultural support. I do not draw power from my cultural heritage for such explorations.

The main power that could possibly flow from C to A would occur if I believed that I could have a major impact in shaping a comprehensive paradigm shift. I should not expect to be more than locally effective in my impact on my culture. C is unlikely to provide adequate support to my origin quest unless I can have some hope that the work I am doing to bring about my cultural ideals will at least sow some seeds that will help bring about some type of paradigm shift . It need not be the one I currently idealize, since my current ideal is limited by my limited vision. I would be delighted if any of my efforts helped bring about a shift that I would endorse from a more expanded perspective.

A and B: Among animals it is only in humans that we observe considerable activity that does not appear to be motivated directly by biological needs. Yet the biological aspect of existence interacts significantly with its spiritual aspects. I feel that unless I have sufficient biological wellbeing, my spiritual wellbeing is less likely to be pursued and will be much more difficult to obtain. I suspect that this may also be true for others. In the last 15 years my biological pleasures have diminished and my physiological aggravations increased. However it is not so much the impact of the biological states affecting me directly, but my awareness of those of others that makes me aware of just how unpleasant physiological discomfort can become. This began many years ago, visiting relatives in the hospital, watching the decline so many people suffer with old age, thinking about the use of biological vulnerability for torture, etc. This is what makes the conjecture that all personal existence may be ultimately dependent on biological existence at times seem so highly plausible. And it is the feeling that my personal existence may be a temporary phenomenon that is the main factor within my persona that saps power from A.